How to Apply Nonverbals

Written by: Ashley Fern

In case you missed it, read the previous article about observing nonverbal indicators here!

Previously, I spoke about observing "comfort" and "discomfort" indicators - what to look out for. But these do not necessarily tell you what they're FEELING or THINKING. That depends on the context.

In this article, I hope to share with you how to apply the nonverbals - so that you may guess at what they're feeling or thinking, and react accordingly to it. This involves a simple, repeatable four-step process:

"Observe, Trigger, Observe, React."

The Hypothetical Situation

In order to show you how I use my four-step process for nonverbals, it is easier to use a relatable (and widely feared) experience.

Imagine yourself giving a presentation to pitch an idea.

Who hasn't been nervous about presentations before? Don't we all want to have better control over our performance when presenting?

Step 1) Observe

You step into the room, and take your place before your audience.

Expert advice will tell you to start only when you are ready. Don't rush into your speech.

Take a deep breath. Take the time to observe your audience. This will be the baseline, or default, to base your nonverbal readings on.

What is their general mood? What are the corresponding "triggers" you can try to influence it?

• Is it irritable? (Remember to smile, or drop a joke or two)

• Is it sleepy? (Start with a booming intro)

• Is it positive? (Make them buy into the problem you are trying to solve)

Step 2) Trigger

You start speaking, and your presentation begins.

Scenario A: You tell a joke.

Scenario B: You begin with an analogy, or a bold statement.

Scenario C: You drop a mind-blowing statistic to highlight a grave issue.

Scenario D: You describe a scenario, in hopes the audience immerses in it.

Scenario E: You ask a question.

Step 3) Observe

Situation 1:

Congratulations, they liked what they just heard!

They all either laughed, smiled, or exhibited "comfort" signals (which is likelier the case if your audience consists of poker-faced judges).

Sometimes, their responses can be as subtle as relaxed muscles around the eyes, a slight tilt to their lips, relaxing their posture slightly, or shifting their hands so their thumbs are pointing upwards.

Situation 2:

Oh no, they didn't laugh, or smile, or show any of the "comfort" signals. In fact, they are showing "discomfort".

Did you perchance tell a joke that may be borderline distasteful? Or does your audience belong to the group of people which may be more sensitive to jokes like these?

If you told them a statistic or a statement which emphasises a grave issue, and they react either with interest or display "discomfort", good! It shows they are invested in what you say. They don't like the problem you highlighted, so this is a good chance to prove how effective your solutions are.

Situation 3:

They appear completely disinterested.

Start thinking why - is it because it's right before lunch hour and they are keen to dig into their afternoon meal?

Is it because they just ate and are too sleepy to focus on your words?

Or are you simply not engaging enough?

Step 4) React

Situation 1:

When you close your presentation, try to make a reference to the joke, statement or scenario you made earlier, so that you end the presentation with your audience feeling good! It may be just the thing to tilt the situation in your favour.

Situation 2:

If it's a bad joke, don't worry, laugh it off. You could even acknowledge it good-naturedly, as in "oops, that was uncomfortable, wasn't it?" If you had slotted a similar joke later in your presentation, make sure to modify it or take it out!

Similarly, if you shared a concerning piece of information, they are certain to react negatively.

Either way, regain their trust again or build up more confidence in you using nonverbals - splay your arms and show your palms, widen your stance. Don't let your tension or nervousness show in your body, even if you feel it inside.

Situation 3:

Disinterest is a common response, and sometimes it's not the speaker's fault. It just presents an opportunity to turn their attention on you, where other speakers may fail to do so.

You can try:

• Making a light-hearted joke or reference to lunch. "I know you can all smell lunch from the cafeteria, (...)" or "I know you might be sleepy after that great lunch earlier, but (...)"

• Try changing your tone of speech. Increase your volume occasionally and give them a jolt!

• Try communicating directly with the audience. Ask them to raise their hands, or even target 1-2 in the audience to answer a question!

Repeat: Observe, Trigger, Observe, React.

And the process begins again.

Remember, as the speaker, YOU are in control. NOT the audience.

A presentation, like a discussion, is a two-way communication channel. What you say affects how they feel or think. Conversely, how they respond should affect what you next do or say.

To reiterate,

YOU have the power to change their perception of you through what you do or say.

When you keep these four simple steps in mind as you communicate with others, you will discover that your perceived performance is really just about how well you react to your audience's likes and dislikes.

Happy communicating!